When it comes to women in my family, I may not have a lot, but the ones that I do have, stand out. They stand out by providing for us, by caring for us, and leading by example of the right thing to do. They strive in all of their fields of work, showing that it is not impossible for a woman to succeed in a country mainly ruled by men. Not only do they meet the standards put on by society, but often exceed it. And of course, all of them have the upmost respect for one another, other people, and most importantly themselves. Because of this, throughout my life I have thought of females as strong, poised people with high self-esteem. This changed when I started high school.
In as little as the first month, I noticed things were a little strange. For one thing, I realized that not only were people obviously bigger and taller than me, but that there were a lot more harsh words thrown in the air. Sugar Honey Ice T (you know what I mean) was in every conversation, The F-bomb was dropped on a regular, and when it came to any reference toward any female of any kind, you could bet on “bitch” being the word of choice. And I know, the world isn’t pretty and nice, but I was especially surprised by the amount of language coming from the black girls in the school towards each other! Sometimes it was in a playful way, but other times (more than boys for the most part) it led to VERY loud arguments, which led to shoving, and finally, fighting. This draws a crowd of course, which cheers on their favorite girl, until someone ends up in handcuffs. To some this seems like entertainment, but to me it seems like a problem.
I simply didn’t understand the source of all the anger, if there was even a source at all. I understand that people have conflict with one another all the time, but these girls are fighting as if it’s the only form of resolution. What was this coming from? Thinking it was a lost cause after months of seeing the same thing, I decided to go home and watch some TV.
“Spongebob……. Not right now.”
“Key and Peele…..Maybe later.”
“Basketball Wives:…..Hmm, never seen it. Might as well give it a try.”
“……YOU CAN’T EVEN AFFORD THIS GUCCI BAG!”
“……..YOU JUST MAD CAUSE YO MAN GOT A CHICK ON THE SIDE!’
“BITCH, WHO YOU THINK YOU TALKIN TO?????”
“……AHHHHHHHBYONYOEHVNVOMCRPIHFXEFXJRGPNTNJOIUNYLH!!!!!!(flying fists, screams made, and champagne glasses broken)”
After only 10 minutes. 10 minutes. What is this?!?!?, I said to myself. Is this supposed to help anybody? How does this even make money? With mixed emotions, I turned off the TV and sat at my desk in silence until it finally hit me. And now I’m here writing this.
What the media is doing now is basically feeding into the minds of black girls that in order to be famous and have money, you need to do one of two things: 1)marry a rich basketball star so you don’t necessarily have to work at anything, and; 2) get hyped for no reason and fight women with the same mindset. Now I know that reality TV most of the time is fake, but that isn’t the problem. Because of this, we have girls that are fighting and cursing at each other, in the hopes of not only gaining respect, but to also prepare themselves for their potential “job.” This also halts their learning drive, ‘cause who needs to learn algebra or social studies when all you need to do is pull out a girl’s weave? It would be different if these “Basketball Wives” were everyday people, but not only are they well-off, but rather paid if you ask me. Basically, the example of a black woman in the media now is a woman with nothing to her name other than her husband.
I say all this to simply express my opinion on the matter. Watching this show has solved the question in my mind towards why some girls choose to use violence rather than to solve issues in a more productive manner. If you don’t agree, then let me know. This is just something I saw, and I would really like to hear more viewpoints on this issue. After all, I’m just a boy looking on from the outside. Whether you’re a boy who’s been in a fight with a girl, a mother who is going through this with her child, or a fighting girl yourself, it doesn’t matter. With more views, an accurate resolution can be made, and that’s all I’m trying to accomplish. But in the end, it was an interesting experience watching this show, and has really opened my eyes towards how black women are perceived in the media, and the outcome it creates towards black girls.